On October 12th, 2009, a small business owner on the West Coast had an inkling—he wanted to start an ‘online magazine’ (aka blog) about this thing called ‘social media marketing’.
About the same time (only a few weeks later), all the way across the United States on the East Coast, another small business owner decided to use his skills to start a social media marketing blog as well.
Both guys were successful businessmen. Both were driven. And both had a vision of rising to the top of their field.
The Journey Begins
By the end of Nov. of 2009, the West Coast blogger had experienced huge success. In fact, by leveraging his existing resources and networks, he received over 25,000 visitors in his first month. Not only that, but he, with a mere 6 weeks of existence, was ranked by Technorati in the ‘Top 100 Small Business Blogs’ for the entire world.
In the meantime, the East Coast blogger fired out the gates as well, producing as much content as he possibly could and doing his best to garner readers. By the end of the month, and after hours of diligent work, East Coast blogger had amassed a whopping 116 visitors.
By the end of Jan. 2010, West Coast blogger had achieved what would have been unfathomable just months before upon inception—Over 55,000 visitors in one month with each post averaging 200-1000 retweets. Simply put, the rapid growth was nothing short of unbelievable, the likes of which had never been seen in the social media realm.
East Coast blogger also continued to churn out content during this time. In fact, by the end of Jan. 2010, and after writing 3-4 articles a week, he managed to reach just over 500 total visitors to his site with an average of 3 retweets per post.
But the magical run didn’t stop there for West Coast blogger. Just one month later, by the end of Feb. 2010, his blog was ranked ‘Top 10′ in the world by Technorati for small business blogs and had already surpassed 10,000 subscribers.
As for East Coast blogger, he just kept pushing as hard as he possibly could—740 visitors for the month of February, and a subscriber count of 53 loyal readers.
Fast Forward
Over the next 20 months, both bloggers continued to do their very best to give great content and value to their readers. Each worked doggedly, wrote often, and strove to grow their readership. In fact, by September of 2011, West Coast blogger had continued his rise to social media super-stardom by amassing 110,000 subscribers, 2 published books, and establishing the most well-known online social media summit in the world.
And East Coast blogger? About 2000 subscribers, no books, and no summits.
(Note from Marcus*** Ok, stop for a second and be honest with this question: If you were to analyze and compare these two gentlemen, would you say East Coast blogger had massively underachieved during his two years of blogging? C’mon, be honest, what say ye??)
(….story continued)
That same month, in September of 2011, West Coast blogger and East Coast blogger met in person during the opening ceremonies of Content Marketing World in Cleveland. Within minutes of their meeting, the two hit it off well and managed to strike up a nice friendship over the next 2 days, with West Coast blogger playing the part of ‘mentor’ and East Coast blogger eagerly playing the part of ‘student’.
No Need to Compare
As I’m sure most of you are already aware, ‘West Coast blogger’ is the great Michael Stelzner of Social Media Examiner, and ‘East Coast blogger’ is yours truly—Me. Mr. Lion. Mufasa. Mane Man. You name it. 
And yes, the numbers I’ve given you are accurate.
To be honest, ‘shock’ were the first thoughts that ran through my head when Michael and I met at Content Marketing World. There we were, chatting away at the opening event, and after inquiring as to when his blog started and what type of growth he’s had, and then finding out his staggering achievements, I just about spit my Diet Coke on the floor.
Simply put, I was stunned…amazed…flabbergasted…you name it.
That night, as I walked the streets of Cleveland back to my hotel room I kept repeating the same number:
“110k subscribers”
“110k subscribers”
“110k subscribers”
And then followed it up with:
“Geez Marcus, what the heck have you been doing wrong for the last two years?”
What Truly Matters
But within hours of having this silly internal conversation, reality and common sense returned and I concluded what I know to be true:
Could I have done better during this time period had I a little more smarts, or a stronger network, or a better strategy? Yes, I’m sure I could have. But this much I also know—I have given The Sales Lion all I’ve got. I’ve reached my own level of success. I’m experiencing joy along this journey. And this is what truly matters.
What’s funny is the fact that many bloggers look at TSL and the success I’ve had over these last 6 months and in comparison feel bad for what they’ve not accomplished( smaller numbers, lack of ‘name recognition’, etc.).
The Curse of Comparative Blogging
If there is one bad habit I think just about every blogger in the world has (or has had) is that of comparing one’s own success or lack thereof with that of another blogger (this certainly applies to business as well).
Over the last two years, some of my lowest moments and deepest frustrations have come from looking at other bloggers and wondering why I couldn’t reach the heights they had managed to achieve.
But with each low moment, just as I did with my friend Michael, I took a step back to see my progress, my triumphs, and just how far I’ve come up this incredible mountain.
So here is the deal folks:
Stop negatively comparing you, your business, and your blog with others.
Sure, it’s fine to see what they’re doing well and mimic their successful strategies, but for the love of Pete do not allow yourself to get depressed because ‘you don’t stack up.’ Fact is, we are all on our own path, with our own time-frames.
Success is not cut from the same cloth for any of us. So let us embrace those differences. Let us cheer on and learn from the Michael Stelzners of the world, and then be the best we can possibly be, comparing ourselves to no one along the way but learning to enjoy every minute of the journey.
Your Turn:
Do you ever find that you compare yourself to other bloggers (or businesses)? If so, what helps you overcome feelings of inadequacy and maintain focus? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one, as each one of us likely has our own story to share.
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{ 84 comments… read them below or add one }
Great food for thought here, Marcus!
It reminds me of a conversation I had the other day with a sales rep who’s in his 50s. He was telling me that he trains in karate too, and that he kept feeling dejected because he couldn’t kick as high as the 20-year-olds in his class.
When he shared this with his instructor, the Sensei told him “You should aspire to be the best 50-year-old black belt there is. Nobody expects you to look like a 20-year-old black belt.” And that totally changed his outlook on his training.
Now that said, I do think it can be useful to compare yourself to people who are at the top of their game.
Local businesses, especially, have a tendency to aim too low. You don’t want to be that diner that’s like, “Well we’re doing better than that diner up the street, so everything is fine” when that other diner is on the brink of bankruptcy.
Holding yourself to a higher standard is a good way to stop yourself from getting complacent. (I’m actually going to be doing a video about this very topic soon!)
Carmen Sognonvi´s last [type] ..The Secret to Getting More Customers to Walk Through Your Door
Love the 50 year old karate analogy Carmen. So true, so very true.
And yes, comparison can be a major benefit as well, assuming it’s done in the right context. If we’re able to look at other blogs and business, and ask ours what makes them successful, and not let the answer depress us, then it’s a powerful tool….no doubt about it.
Thanks so much for passing by today and joining in the conversation Carmen. Your support rocks!
Marcus
A long time ago when I started my business I had a mentor who was everything I dreamed of being. I looked up to her, but also compared myself mercilessly. Until one day I realized we were not that different and if she could do it, so could I. That was the day I realized, maybe for the first time, that it was my lizard brain doing the comparing…all for the purpose of keeping me safe. Because to put myself out there fully as she had done would be risky. I did it anyway and began to see results.
10 years later I started my blog, and the same fear kicked in, the same comparison started all over again. Reading this post reminded me of my journey, that taking the risk and going after what I want is worth it. All the comparing of the past few months has been exhausting and it’s time to move on and simply focus on the work.
Thanks for the reminder.
Sandi Amorim´s last [type] ..Intending for Good
All the comparing of the past few months has been exhausting and it’s time to move on and simply focus on the work.….AMEN to that Sandi!!!
Yeah, that dang lizard brain. It gets us every time. It never seems to sleep. But we can sure stuff it in the corner.
Thrilled you benefited from this post Sandi and I wish you continued success and growth….lizard free!!!!
Marcus
Marcus,
Some really great lessons here. Specifically since you are by no means a failure at blogging by any means. Obviously you are a guiding light for so many people who visit here.
There is a small important part you glossed over in your comparison of the two of you. …by leveraging his existing resources and networks, he received ….
Sort of like the old axiom, it takes money to make money. It takes followers to make followers. I can only imagine that if you were to start a brand new blog tomorrow your success would compare or outshine his first few months.
The takeaway is that blogs can take time. You have to bust your butt, work hard and have faith. While you can be “boosted’ by having previous connections, if you have none… you have to work your tail off all that much more. Those initial visitors, sales, comments, conversions etc. etc. etc. are always the hardest ones. Once that boulder gets rolling it can become an irresistible force.
-Steve
Steve Scott´s last [type] ..17 REAL Ways to Earn Internet Income
This is such great insight, Steve! It’s definitely something to keep in mind when you start trying to compare yourself to someone else. What resources or networks do they have that you don’t? When you do this analysis, you’ll probably realize that you’re comparing apples to oranges.
Carmen Sognonvi´s last [type] ..The Secret to Getting More Customers to Walk Through Your Door
Steve, you’ve actually brought up a great, great point here. After having this experience with Michael, I considered this post but also another post—Why he achieved what he achieved and what got me where I am. It would have been a great comparison, but I felt more prompted to do this one, at least at this time. But to drive your point, here is the thing—
Michael was already a major player online before SME. He was known as the ‘king of whitepapers’ and had established relationships with tons of folks in the field.
Also, Michael has a tremendous relationship with the folks at Copyblogger and that helped facilitate things as well.
There are many more reasons why he skyrocketed to such heights so quickly (with talent and smarts being a biggie), but the fact of the matter is I was a pool guy, he was Michael Stelzner—and we were coming from very different places.
So on the surface, one could make an assumption that I wasn’t doing a whole lot right. But once the whole picture is painted, it’s a great case study on the power of networks, relationships, field experience, etc.
Thanks for this awesome comment Steve, I really appreciate it man.
Marcus
Hi Steve,
I would call this slow and steady phenomenon the snowball effect. Every business, blog , etc start off as a tiny flake of snow been rolled off the top. But with each passing moment, more and more snow gets compressed and the ball becomes larger and larger. Before you know it you will have the most massive success ever. Try stopping the snowball close to the base.
I really like your preaching about getting the nitty gritty things done in a slow and deliberate fashion. All these will eventually add up to your profile and following. Once you get there, Michael, you can then leverage on your existing following and generate even more impact online.
Marcus brought up a very good reminder to really just mind our own business and learn and grow. Forget about comparisons. Comparison makes you envy. Rather than compare, it is better to find the gaps that you are missing that will enable you to bridge that gap.
I do compare of course. But when I do, I see what I comparing to be something I will reach eventually in time. It is not a question of would I reach that, but when. Knowing that makes all the difference.
Jimmy´s last [type] ..The Complete Blogging for Personal Development Interview Series
Jimmy, dang brother, love your outlook man. I do. And I thought this was the key to what you said:
Rather than compare, it is better to find the gaps that you are missing that will enable you to bridge that gap.
Amen to that my friend.
May we all keep filling those gaps.
Marcus
Marcus,
I love the way you kept us in suspense before revealing the names of these two bloggers. And how you compared their different paths.
This whole topic has been weighing on my mind lately and, in fact, I wrote two posts on it this month. It is so easy to compare ourselves with the big bloggers and feel like we come up short. I have personally experienced much of what you talk about here. I think as we grow in this blogging thing, we try on different ideas and find the ones that work for us, while massaging them to make them uniquely our own. In that respect, I learn a lot from watching other bloggers, And, yes, we each have our own path to take! I love it that you have recognized and articulated that so well here. And I don’t remember who said it, but, “There’s always room at the top.” Thanks for making me think.
Judy Dunn´s last [type] ..The Comment Doctor Will See You: Tell Us How You Feel About Livefyre
Suspense is a good thing, isn’t it Judy?
I appreciate your candor here. It’s something, this idea of comparing, that we all deal with at times. And it saddens me that I’ve seen many cases where bloggers just ‘hung it up’ because they didn’t feel like they stacked up to another’s success. How sad is that?
So grateful for your thoughtful voice here Judy, continued success to you–
Marcus
Marcus, your blog may not be as big as Social Media Examiner (although it is in my heart, lol) but then again, your blog is waaaaay bigger and you are waaaaaay more successful than a million other blogs that started at the same time you two guys did.
How bout that positive comparison
Brankica´s last [type] ..How Does Your Blog Rank on the “Outstanding” Scale?
Well I think that positive comparison is just about awesome Bran.
You’re such a sweet gal (even though you could kick my butt in a fist fight), and I do appreciate your words my friend.
Talk soon,
Marcus
We all do this, don’t we? Compare ourselves to others. It’s healthy to do so – but only up to a point.
The cold hard truth is this: you will NOT be the most successful person in your field. You will be whatever you will be. Once you embrace that reality, you will free yourself to achieve great things.
Tom Ewer´s last [type] ..Bouncers, Groupies, Fence Sitters, And IEMing Your USP
That’s exactly right Tom. It’s OK to compare, but it has to be done in the proper context. These days, instead of beating myself up, I simply look at successful blogs and ask myself one question—What makes them great? And then I see if that strategy might fit TSL.
Thanks for your comment and support bud,
Marcus
It’s awesome how people can actually get that many subscribers in a short span of time. You don’t have to worry Marcus (although I’m betting you’re not worried at all), you’ve achieved so much with TSL, and the community here is amazing. It’s something that I hope to achieve someday too.
Comparing our accomplishments with others only hurts us, and could hinder personal growth and achievement, if taken the wrong way. I’m one of the people who actually “take it the wrong way” and feel a bit down.
But I know the only option is to work harder, and give it my all.
Thanks for the great post. It’s awesome how you wrote this post with a somewhat “envying” voice, the Mane man does feel.
Josh Sarz´s last [type] ..Life After Tech Support
Hahahaha Josh, yes, the ‘Mane Man’ does feel, no doubt about it.
You’re not alone in your occasional struggles buddy. Almost every blogger goes through it. In fact, that’s why I wrote this post. I wanted people to know, despite the successful appearance of my blog, I’ve still dealt with the issue at times, and it has been a 2 year project getting to this point. But today, yes, I’m very content and have moved past the comparative stage that can be such a hindrance.
Love your attitude Josh, and great to see you again,
Marcus
Hey Marcus,
You have done a great job with your blog, which you of course know
I am always impressed with your work and think you are building something fantastic.
That someone else has had more success (even if it happens to be a lot moer) it doesn’t matter. You will reach success and will have a lot of it, as long as you stay the course.
Daniel M. Wood´s last [type] ..Free Give-Away to RSS Followers!
Love that phrase Daniel—’Staying the course’.
So true my friend, so true.
Have a great rest of your week buddy, and thanks for dropping by,
Marcus
This was flat-out awesome Marcus!
One thing I DO NOT do is compare myself with others in a way to feel bad about where I stand…or to myself feel better than the next person. Sure, I’ll make assessments with others in the mix – but only as a data point.
See, I believe that everyone is so different that me comparing my blog or business to theirs would be foolish. Take me and you as an example: we’re friends and share many of the same opinions on things…but we have different lives, different goals and we’re driven from different things (which is a good thing, and the reason why we click). So for me to say that my blog should be where your’s is would be flat-out DUMB and a discredit to myself and even you.
Someone said something to me the other day that this reminds me of. They said that they wish they had my drive. I went on to explain that the way I am is based on every situation I’ve experienced in life. And many of those…you wouldn’t want anything to do with. So you should want to be driven by doing the best that YOU can…and not base your situation on someone else’s life, which isn’t a fair reality.
Anyhow – great subject and I’m glad you brought this up because I see others comparing all the time. You won’t see me doing it…because I don’t base what I do off of what he or she does. I’m driven by MY GOALS, not anyone else’s (unless I can help in some way).
PEACE
Jk Allen´s last [type] ..The Side Hustle
I forgot to make note of how great you have done man. You’ve continued to grow and grow and grow. You’ve shared goals and we’ve been able to watch you accomplish those. You’re a great inspiration.
I’m glad you’re Marcus Sheridan and not trying to be some other person. I’m glad you are where you are and in no other place. You’ll be where you’re supposed to be, when you need to be there. And I know you’ll do what it takes to make it happen. Your an Action Taker. A rare bread!
PEACE
Jk Allen´s last [type] ..The Side Hustle
First, let me just say ‘thanks’ JK for all your kind words man. Yes, I’m happy with my little place on the web. My vision for the brand and site is moving in the direction that I had hoped. I’m meeting my own personal goals, thus the accomplishments of others really don’t matter.
What I like about you JK is if I had to guess one person that I’ve met online that would never compare their success or lack thereof with another blogger it would be you. I guess it stems from your amazing sense of self, direction, and your solid base. Either way, your comment here didn’t surprise me in the least my friend.
Peace back at ya brother
Marcus
I find this interesting, Marcus because I feel you’re one of the most successful bloggers I know. Why? Because you grew a true community. You achieve something very few bloggers achieve – the same loyal readers coming back every day to interact with you and each other. And we’re not talking “one off” I agree type comments, either. For you, I think it’s quality vs. quantity and you have quality in spades.
Mike is also my friend, as you know, and what he achieved with SME is nothing short of miraculous and I wouldn’t expect anything less. In the 7 or 8 years that I’ve known Michael Stelzner he’s been successful due to his drive and determination. But you both have two different goals and you’re both successful in different ways.
Oh and I’m proud to call both you and Mike “friend.”
In the early days of my blogging I knocked myself out to try and be like my idols, but that didn’t lead to my success. I found that people like me because I’m me. I can’t tell you without a doubt, people come here because of you and what you give people in return can’t be bought or found on just any blog.
Be proud, Marcus. Be very proud.
Deb Ng´s last [type] ..29 Things We Should Teach Our Kids About Using the Internet
You’re so kind to stop by Deb considering I’m sure you’re already in ‘chicken with head cut off’ mode to prepare for next week
You know, I do feel very good about what has come of TSL and this wonderful community of people. 99% of the time I’m all smiles. But occasionally, that good old ‘lizard brain’ steps in and points to others that have done it ‘better’, causing frustration to creep in.
I’m happy to say, though, that it’s very rare for me to have these feelings anymore. In fact, the last time it occurred was that night with Michael. But even then I was able to shift my paradigm within a few hours and refocus on the good, not the supposed ‘bad’.
You’re such a kind and sweet person to say what you said here Deb. Yes, I am proud, and each day seems to bring with it another incredible opportunity.
See you soon lady!
Marcus
Thanks Deb
I echo your comments
Michael A. Stelzner´s last [type] ..5 Ways to Humanize Your Company With Social Media
Marcus,
My mother always said, keep your eye upon the donut and not upon the hole, in other words, don’t look through the hole at other blogs and compare! Well, she didn’t mean that, back then, I didn’t have a blog then. It’s hard, though for bloggers not to compare because we have no other frame of reference. But you’re right, we need to stay on our unique paths and do our own thing. In blogging as in everything in life. Maybe this realization you’ve come to is a stage on the journey. “Ah! Now I know I’m okay! I’ll just do it my way and enjoy!”
You are doing a great job
Lori
Lori Gosselin´s last [type] ..4 Stages of Community Building
Your mother was one wise lady, wasn’t she Lori?
Thanks so much for the kind words, and yes, I am enjoying the journey!
Have a great rest of your week,
Marcus
Marcus, I liked SME when it first started but I rarely read it now. I subscribe and delete. The site no longer talks to me, you see I am a person and I don’t feel like I am treated like a person over there. My experience is different than the SME fans though and not typical.
I come here and I get greeted by you and we chat all over the web, FB, Twitter, my blog, G+ and do you know what, I’d buy a pool off of you. Lucky for me I have a transport company and can get it delivered on the cheap
Would I buy anything off the people you made the comparison with? Err, I don’t even know what they are selling.
Yeah we all make comparisons to other bloggers at times but their audience isn’t yours (or mine now I mention it).
As Deb mentions above trying to blog like others is futile. Be yourself, only better
Sarah Arrow´s last [type] ..The Saturdays to “open” Oxford Street Lights
You’re one sweet lady Sarah. Appreciate the words, I do. And you’re very, very right. Much of this comes down to audiences, something that’s so easy to forget in the whole ‘numbers’ game. My blog is much more geared towards the content/inbound marketing crowd. They’re a smaller group, but I certainly think they’re a dang good one!
Thanks again for all your support Sarah
Marcus
Hey Sarah.
I am sorry to hear we’ve not treated you well. We try very hard to interact with everyone, but as you might imagine, this becomes harder as you grow.
Mike
Michael A. Stelzner´s last [type] ..5 Ways to Humanize Your Company With Social Media
Hey Mike, you can’t please all of the people all of the time
You have a happy thriving community who love you to bits, you have to please them and not me
Sarah Arrow´s last [type] ..Stop Press: Last Minute Birds ‘Gift’ to Women in London 1st November!
Are you over here causing trouble, missus? Do I need to set the FBBB team on you?
Danny Brown´s last [type] ..Is Klout Using Our Family to Violate Our Privacy?
*attempts to look innocent*
Who Me? Trouble?
Sarah Arrow´s last [type] ..When Plugins go nuts… #blogging
Isn’t that the truth Sarah!
You try being married to here Mike, she offers to buy a pool the other side of the world and demands cheap delivery. There really is no pleasing her
Kevin Arrow´s last [type] ..Why next day delivery guarantees cost your business money
It is easy to compare ourselves to other bloggers and wonder why we don’t have what we think they have. The key word in that last sentence is “Think” and that is important because our perception isn’t always accurate.
The most important thing we can do as bloggers/people is figure out how to have peace of mind. I can give you a list of ten things that I wish had done differently with my blog and a bigger list for my life.
But at the end of the day I close my eyes and sleep comfortably because I know that I am doing what I need to do to make the changes in my life that will take me where I want to go.
I won’t lie and say that I never look at another blog and think that I should be where they’re at, but it is rare.
Amen, sir, amen. Be proud and happy of what you’ve done, and the rest will follow.
Danny Brown´s last [type] ..Is Klout Using Our Family to Violate Our Privacy?
I really like how you said that Jack. ‘Think’ is the key word, isn’t it? We come from such a limited perspective on this, and the only thing we’re seeing is a few ‘numbers’, but there is actually so much more than that to this.
Always appreciate you coming by and adding to the conversation Jack, have a great weekend…
Marcus
Marcus – I’ve been in your boots brother. Everyone has.
The guy I used to look up to is Brian Clark from CopyBlogger.com. We are now peers and friends.
In the end, we are all people. Pursuit of fame is vane and will get you nowhere fast. And I know you know that.
Keep at it and remember to be content with what the good Lord has given you.
And thanks for sharing the story.
Michael A. Stelzner´s last [type] ..5 Ways to Humanize Your Company With Social Media
I know it goes without saying Michael, but I think you’re simply one of the best there is out there—successful as heck, yet grounded and fully aware of what’s truly important in this life.
I have wanted to tell this story ever since I met you and by this week it had simmered enough. Really looking forward to chatting next week man,
Marcus
Marcus,
It’s funny that as you are writing about your experience with SME Michael (who I have personally had on my “Kills It” list for a while) I am thinking about how I internally have similar conversations about the success you’ve had and how I compare…
The connection is passion and persistence… The success is internal.
Michael and Marcus… Thank you.
Ryan H.
Ryan Hanley´s last [type] ..Why I Deleted 8,000 Words From My Manuscript Last Night
Yep, I do agree strongly with that connection Ryan. Passion and persistence….with the success being internal.
Can’t wait till we finally meet and break bread at some point Ryan.
Continued success bud,
Marcus
This is really inspirational and we all know that this post should be shared to all people…
Cameron´s last [type] ..Spam Buster Overview
I’ve re-stumbled onto your blog. Obvious hint that I should be bookmarking you. I started blogging in Jan. 2009 and have has some success, but still lots to learn. Thanks!
Yum Yucky´s last [type] ..Is This A New Trend? I Keep Seeing It Online
Marcus, simply one of the best posts I have read from you.
The message is simple, don’t compare yourself to other bloggers, business owners or whatever.
It doesn’t help, someone will always do it faster, bigger, better.. so what? We are all different and each have a unique approach to our business and the value we bring to people.
When I start loosing focus, I look back at my life plan, my goals and re-center myself.
Great post and an important message buddy.
john Falchetto´s last [type] ..5 steps to a successful side hustle
Isn’t it funny how almost every struggle or debate we see with blogs (or life) can be cleared up as soon as we re-center and return to our goals John? That really seems to be the answer to everything in my opinion. Whether it’s comments, Klout, subscribers, design, etc—it all comes back to goals.
Cheers bud, have an excellent weekend,
Marcus
The trap that many bloggers fall into when comparing themselves to others is the format of the blog itself.
It’s interesting that Michael brought up Brian Clark, as I was going to mention him too, since they both make my point for me – multi-author blogs versus single author blogs.
Both Michael and Brian have done very well at growing a brand, and for many reasons – timing, niche, topics people want to read (while they may not always be the most questioning topics, they’re still topics people want to read).
But the key thing they all have is that there are numerous authors that make up the name/brand of the blog. So, you bring all these authors’ readers/subscribers/social followers into the equation, and it makes sense their blogs are going to get more eyeballs and all that entails.
Compare this approach to a single blogger, who has to do all the content, promoting, cultivating, etc, and there’s a very big chasm.
So, by all means, compare if you really need to as a blogger – just make sure you’re comparing to the relevant blog.
Solid stuff, my friend.
Danny Brown´s last [type] ..Is Klout Using Our Family to Violate Our Privacy?
You’ve brought up a really good point here Danny, as there really is a Part II to this story, and I debated over whether writing about just that. Or, in other words, what caused such a dramatic difference in the two blogs in terms of subscribers, numbers, etc.
And one of the biggest keys to show why one blog did so much more in numbers than the other has to do with multiple authors. Copyblogger does it incredibly well, so does SME, and I see you’re really starting to do that well on Bloggers. In fact, that would make for an interesting case study sometime.
Really appreciate your comment friend,
Marcus
Cheers, sir – look forward to the follow-up.
For Bloggers By Bloggers has surprised even me (as the post about its first year shows). It seems to be growing a nice reputation for itself (thanks to the awesome team of authors and contributors), and that’s all anyone can ask for.
Have a great weekend, mate – hopefully we can hook up in TO.
Danny Brown´s last [type] ..Is Klout Using Our Family to Violate Our Privacy?
Wow the timing of this article is rather fortuitous for me. I decided to change my approach to my competition; form an alliance vs a stressful competition. I’ve gain an amazing network of new peers/friends and my business opportunities will soon be realized. We’re all in this together just like your tagline states. Thanks for sharing!
Thrilled to hear that Roger, glad to know it helped a little. Alliances are so much better than stressful competition, and the minute we realize that in business is the minute things start to get much, much easier. Good for you Roger!
Have a wonderful weekend,
Marcus
Marcus! If you keep up these thought-provoking and insightful blog posts, and I’m going to have to have you as a guest blogger!
Comparing doesn’t normally start in blogging or business, it typically starts in elementary school when Susie’s dress was prettier or Stevie can throw the ball farther! Comparing can most definitely lead to feelings of never measuring up, or it can lead to discovering the best that’s in us, by learning who we are and who you are not!
Who wouldn’t love to have the success of The Sales Lion or several other amazing sites out there, but to everything there is a time and a season. Knowing the fullness of that time is all part of the journey! BraVO! My friend…
Beth Kinder´s last [type] ..Are We Just Being Polite?
but to everything there is a time and a season. Knowing the fullness of that time is all part of the journey!….boy do I love that Beth! So very true.
You’re a great lady Beth,
Marcus
I do, I’ve compared myself and found my ‘success’ rather wanting. Like your ‘comments ≠ business model’ post, I wonder WTH I’ve done wrong. I’ve been really at this for a few years now, think – no I KNOW – I’ve done a good job. I’ve engaged, networked, and most importantly: I’ve done the writing, comments and posts. I read posts all the time that get the comments, RT, from blogs and/or bloggers w/ the beaucoup subscriptions that dwarf mine. And I don’t get it, as I really think some of my stuff is just as good if not better.
Now I don’t really think I’m in the league with some folks, certainly not Social Media Examiner (though they’ve thrown out a few softballs, as has everyone). IDK I know I am on my own journey, that TEHO does apply.. and yet, as I am trying to get back into the swing of things, I’m reevaluating how I spend my time. That pesky ROI on what do I really get with all these comments, blogs, etc. and realize that maybe I am doing something wrong? Certainly too much inside baseball, not enough networking outside the lines (where the clients are hiding?) is something to consider. As is not worrying so much about everyone else. FWIW.
Davina K. Brewer´s last [type] ..Follow Friday, Fearless Edition
Davina, I so appreciate this comment and the struggles you’re going through. Being you’re a friend of mine, I’m sorry this has been such a frustrating road.
The fact that you’re taking a step back to evaluate and take a hard look at ROI is a great idea, and hope you find balance and success.
Hang in there lady.
Marcus
ps: Big week for the Tigers!!
HUGE week, not sure any game could live up to THIS much hype… guess we’ll find out Saturday. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not giving up and I really HAVE enjoyed this, all the networking, the learning and growth. It really has made me better at my job, yet at the same time it’s WORK, hard work. I still have to find that secret trick to make the connections that make it profitable work, ya know? FWIW.
Davina K. Brewer´s last [type] ..You don’t want a cheap website. Trust me.
The essence is here Marcus: …”and then be the best we can possibly be, comparing ourselves to no one along the way but learning to enjoy every minute of the journey.” I am what is referred to as a “veteran” filmmaker having been in the motion picture and television industry for thirty some years and have been guilty of comparison for most of those years. People in this business are competitive and if another’s candle was burning brighter then mine they I would say he was lucky and by doing that did not recognize and celebrate my own growth and success. This has been painful at times but I am over it now and it business with my son who is the web designer at our company and I am doing video production for our clients in the Phoenix area. Thank you for your well crafted and insightful posts.
Michael Simpson´s last [type] ..Optimize Your Website – Part One: Keywords
Michael, wow do I appreciate honest and insightful comments like this one my friend. Personal growth is certainly liberating, isn’t it??
Continued success with your son’s, that’s awesome that you two are working together.
Have a wonderful week,
Marcus
Social reach is definitely something we as bloggers/internet marketers use and mis-use to judge the pecking order, I’m just as guilty as any.
But it depends on your goals – is it blogging your way to the top? Notoriety? Speaking engagements and “Klout” that matters?
For me, it’s just not my business plan, so the jealousy (fleeting as it is, but visceral nonetheless when I read stats like this) comes and goes and is forgotten as I cash the next check I worked for 2 years ago on a small site that keeps paying my bills.
It really depends on your goals, but also on your needs – and mine are both met and being met, respectively – so I don’t let the spitting contest get me down.
Although…110k subscribers…?
110k subscribers?!
James Hussey´s last [type] ..Only Difference Between Winners and Losers
Of course I look at others – who doesn’t? But what I look at is their writing style, what their community is like, what are they talking about, what’s important to them, what does their blog layout look like. I don’t mimic it, but I use it to inspire myself towards greatness.
One thing I will say about this comparison stuff, is that I have had bosses who compared the company’s blog {kind of mine} to other’s. They would say, our competitor has this infographic/video/slide deck/whatever, how come we dont have that? If we did, then we would have tons of followers like them! This is hard to overcome and if you are trying not to compare yourself already, it hurts when your boss does it for you.
Christina Pappas´s last [type] ..Social Media Desperado
Marcus. I had to stop what I was doing and come over here and answer you!
You always seem to know… you just do. Ok. Thanks, man. I needed that (your post).
((Hug))
~Amber-Lee
Amber-Lee Dibble´s last [type] ..Winter Excursions with Alaska Chick
Hahaha, I’m just grateful you’re kind enough to stop by and share a hug Amber
Marcus
Hi Marcus,
I love this blog and the approach you took in writing it. I especially like the last paragraph. I started a new social media business about 6 months ago and it can be very frustrating seeing what seems like “instant success” for some people.
When I start to compare myself to others two things come to mind that snap me back to reality. T. Harv Ecker says “We are our own sports team. We are the owners, the players, the fans, the coaches and the cheerleaders. So why aren’t we winning every game?…because we are also the competition and we let the competition win! Those negative thoughts that get us down, seem to take hold of us a lot easier than the ones that are positive.
The other thing I think about is Galatians 6:4 “Let each one examine his own work. Then he can take pride in himself and not compare himself with someone else.”
It helps me to stay focused and recognize that I’m moving forward every day by taking action to write the blogs, make the connections, build the relationships. As long as I”m moving forward each day, I’m more successful than yesterday. Instead of making goals of getting so many fans or so many sales, I set my goals to be: I will connect with 6 people today, write three blogs this week, create two one minute videos, do one LinkedIn Workshop, etc. Success happens along the way and the process becomes fun instead of work.
Marcus, like you said in the end instead of comparing ourselves to the Michael’s of the world, let’s cheer them on and learn from them. In the meantime, it time to be our own cheerleader’s instead of the competition. You have 2,000 subscribers! That is 2,000 more than you had 20 months ago! You have loyal followers! You learned so much and are continuing to learn more.
I’m rattling on, but I just thought of what Jim Rohn’s mentor said when he told Jim to set a goal of making a million dollars. He said, “Make a goal to make a million dollars, not for the money, but for what it will make of you to achieve it.” …it’s important to enjoy the journey.
Have a terrific weekend.
Cindy
Cindy, this was, without question, one of the best comments on this blog in a long, long time. Wow. Double wow.
You had me at the Ecker quote….then I was enamored with the Galatians verse…and then I was head over heals with the Mr. Schofe (sp?) quote.
I don’t mention Rohn a lot, but he is far and away the greatest personal development inspiration in my life, and I believe the greatest personal dev. speaker of the 21st century. Some day, I hope to write his biography.
Anyway, you rock Cindy, and I’m just honored you stopped by to write this.
Marcus
Cindy,
I love this: “The other thing I think about is Galatians 6:4 “Let each one examine his own work. Then he can take pride in himself and not compare himself with someone else.””
Internal success!!!
Thanks!
Ryan Hanley´s last [type] ..Why I Deleted 8,000 Words From My Manuscript Last Night
Your Welcome!
Cindy Rack´s last [type] ..17 Twitter Marketing Tips from the Pros
I’ll second that.
Wow, if this isn’t a perfect topic coming at perfect time for me. I work constantly at trying to put that big Stop sign in front of my brain as it goes off to that tune of comparison, and then feeling low about it. I keep telling myself, “be Harriet and feel the pride in what you’re doing and how far you’ve come with a completely unknown terrain – technology.” But I can’t help but look at bloggers who’ve been at it the same amount of time as me and I keep going back to – “they get soooo many more comments and great feedback.” I try to stay focused on the process of writing, connecting and my favorite part – interviewing the inspirational people who I’ve been fortunate to find and connect with – and continue along with the ‘work’. And if each week I gain one new connection, that’s great.
But yes, comparison for me is a biggie. And you are one of the bloggers who I hold up as an example. And so I keep telling myself, I am me and my style is mine and I’m doing the best I can. And I do reach out asking others for feedback so I can improve and learn.
Thank you.
Harriet, I’m so very glad you took the time to leave this powerful comment.
We all compare. All of us. You, me, and the world. Some do it in different ways…but we all do it.
But, like you said, that’s when we’ve got to reach deep within and find our balance again—and our inner pride in self.
You’re a great person Harriet, and I hope you’re weekend has been a great one.
Marcus
Thanks Marcus. As I have stated before, when the Ego gets involved, we can’t help but look at the numbers and compare ourselves to others. I actually, have learned a lot from you and JK, regarding this. Thank you. Also dealing with other challenges in my life, has helped tremendously where the Ego is concerned. Ego keeps us APART from and without ego, we can be A PART OF. It really is amazing.
You said it, “We are all on our own path, with our own time frames.” Amen. Just like life, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Enjoy and embrace the journey. What a wonderful opportunity to CARE and share with the world, via this incredible thing called social media and blogging. What a blessing. Stay Faithful and Grateful.
“The difference between obstacles and opportunities is your outlook” – Mark Sanborn
Appreciate all you do so much. You are such a great example of how to do it “the Right way”. Thanks again for all your encouragement and support. I will continue to read, watch and listen to people like you, who help me on my beautiful journey through life. Keep up the great work, my friend.
Al
Al Smith´s last [type] ..Dare To C.A.R.E. – A Challenge
Hey Al, I’m glad you had a moment to read this and leave such an awesome comment bud. Ego is a huge part of all of this. It’s what drives those feelings of doubt, and negative comparison to others, etc. I think it affects all of us at times, but, like you said, as we learn to control it the occasions become less and less.
Stay strong brother,
Marcus
What an interesting journey everyone has Marcus! I so appreciate this post and thank you very much for it!
I think it can be so self-defeating comparing ourselves to others as bloggers and so many other things for that matter. I’ve put myself through this torture and it gets me nowhere … only to feeling bad. So … I focus on what I’m putting out and pray in some small way that I’m giving back or someone takes something from it. I try and cover a variety of angles, but always do it with heart. If you have that in the mix, you’re doing ok. What is so wonderful and such a gift with your blog and so many of the gifted commentators here (Danny, Jack, Jk, Lori, etc.) is that what you (they) write has heart and resonates with your readers on countless levels. My motto, “keep on keepin’ on (while keepin’ the faith)”. It’s people like you Marcus who keep me keepin’ on and one day I hope to fully be able to express how grateful I am. Often times, I’ve felt lost and fallen off the tracks, but the blogosphere presents me with some gem of a post (like this!) and says “keep going…”.
You wrote something that is key here Marcus, “Let us cheer on and learn from the Michael Stelzners of the world, and then be the best we can possibly be, comparing ourselves to no one along the way but learning to enjoy every minute of the journey.” Wow, how powerful! I think wanting for other success; being genuinely happy and joyous for them is one of the most blessed and meaningful things to do for another! It makes our own journey all the sweeter!
With a full heart I thank you Marcus, I cheer you on because you’re an inspiration and do so much for others … and that is what’s what it’s all about my friend!
Abundant kindness,
Elena
Elena Patrice´s last [type] ..We’re Judged by the Company We Keep.
This was so heartfelt and kind Elena, I really can’t thank you enough for your kind words and thoughts.
There’s not question this is a tough road for all of us at times. But having a sense of self, as you have Elena, seems to make all the difference.
Thanks again for your incredible words here,
Marcus
I’m reading a book about one of the Fortune 400 richest men. He’s worth billions and it’s not enough. People say to him, “When is it going to be enough?” And he responds, “When I’m #1 and there isn’t a single man who has more than me.” Some of us just live our lives trying to keep up with the Joneses. And others live our lives for us. Who would you rather be?
Gini Dietrich´s last [type] ..Gin and Topics: Lollipops, Donkeys, and Misrepresentations
A billion is not enough??? Dang. Double dang. Heck, when I’m worth a couple of mill I just might fall off the face of the earth.
Have a great week lady
Marcus
Human nature Marcus
We compare ourselves to the best and come up short.
In my topic of Public Speaking beginners watch seasoned pros who have been speaking for years and wonder why they can’t be instantly like them.
Human nature Marcus, human nature.
Keith Davis´s last [type] ..The Tyranny of the Or…
Human nature it is my friend…that it is.
Hey Marcus,
Okay, I’m just sayin … I’m one of them who’ve known of SME for some time now. But am really glad to now find you via a FB share by Jennifer Gresham about this article.
Your candor and direction are so on point. Comparing can be so paralyzing. Especially comparing up, of course. Yet comparing down is futile as well and can be paralyzing by planting the seed that one’s got it all wrapped up. Pride goes before destruction. I got the t-shirt.
I appreciate your style and it’s obvious that many others do too. The caliber of your readers and what they bring to the table in the comments is exceptional! That’s huge right there.
Thanks, Marcus, for sharing your experience and your heart!
Garry Stafford´s last [type] ..Turn The Page
Wow Garry, so very kind of you sir!!
Yeah, I’d like to think the readers here are some of the best on the web, because there is usually better content in the comments than the actual post itself.
And love your point about comparing up or down….a nasty animal it is my friend.
Thanks so much for stopping by Garry, hope we can chat again,
Marcus
Hi Marcus,
Thanks so much for this post. I have just started a personal website recently and this comes in just in time as I needed to hear it.
All the very best to you.
Marcus, I found this post via Amy Porterfield. Thank you so much for your sincere honesty. What a story! Better yet, what a perspective. This is another nugget to add to my own collection. I have 2 personal fave lessons I’ve learned over the years: every challenge carries the seeds of opportunity and life is all about the journey. Thanks for helping me once again put on the brakes and remember that attitude is everything :-0
Love it Kathi! And I’m so grateful you stopped by.
To continued excellence,
Marcus
Marcus, this morning has been a reflective one for me. Among other things, I thought about this post of yours, as it is how I was first introduced to you through our mutual friend. So I came back to it to read it with fresh eyes.
The comparison thing can be so deadly, in more than one way. As you experienced, it can make you feel like a failure. The other side, though, is that we can always find people who are not doing as well as we are. And when we compare ourselves to those people, we can feel smug, and perhaps not push as hard as we should, because “at least I’m better than so and so.”
Over the years, I have learned that the healthiest position is one of competing against myself. I should always strive to improve, and to be better this year/month than in years/months past, whether it be in the area of business, faith, finances, family, etc. When I compete against myself, I don’t have to worry about an unlevel playing field, or any other perceived advantages or disadvantages I have compared to any one else. I simply strive to be me — only better. That’s challenging enough!
So glad you went back to this post Rebecca. Honestly, this is far and away one of my favorite I’ve written here on TSL, as it’s a subject we’ve all struggled with to some extent.
The fact that you’ve found it in you to make ‘you’ the competition is what I think the ultimate goal is for all of us.
Again, thanks for all and talk soon,
Marcus
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