I can remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was in the 9th grade. My best friend James Stevens was running for class president, and he came to me to see if I would be willing to read a speech he had prepared to give to the student body. Although you may be thinking it was odd that James asked me to read his speech, for some reason that’s just how we did it in my high school, and so considering I was capable of this little skill we call reading, I readily agreed to help.
Over the next few days, I didn’t even consider James’ proposal. The idea of
reading a short and simple speech was not intimidating and seemed to be quite an easy task. So the day arrived and James and I, along with a dozen or so other students, found ourselves on stage, prepared to deliver our messages to the student body.
Reality Sinks In
It was in that moment of sitting there on stage, looking out at the 400 or so students, that I came to the realization that this was a big deal. There were a lot of students and teachers…..and they were all going to be listening to me at one time. And as this reality sunk in, my nerves also began working their magic. My stomach was suddenly feeling quite uncomfortable. I could sense a rush of heat coming over my face. Yep, I was in trouble, and I hadn’t’ even stepped up to the podium yet…and all this was happening just because I had to read a silly, single page speech.
Finally, as I was in my distraught state of anticipation, fear, and wanting to vomit, my buddy James nudged my shoulder. It was time to read what he had prepared. I walked to the podium, looked out at the audience, and did everything I could to commence reading.
Eventually, as my hands shook to hold the paper and gather myself, words started coming out. But my voice was almost unrecognizable—shaky, sheepish, and ridden with fear. Sweat was now beading up on my forehead. And even worse, I was forgetting to breath. The walls seemed to be tumbling down.
All this over one little speech, and all I had to do was read to dang thing.
Somehow, and still to this day I’m not really sure how it happened, I got through the words of James’ little discourse. Whether the audience clapped or stood silent, I frankly can’t recall. I assume this memory loss is likely a result of my mind attempting to dispose of, at least what appeared to me at the time, a terrible and traumatic experience.
A Promise Made
But I do remember sitting back down next to James when I was done and him putting his hand on my shoulder, asking me if I was OK. My response was concise:
“James, I am never, ever going to get in front of an audience again.”
I meant what I had said. Not only was it a promise to James but it was a promise to me. In my mind, it was official. Public Speaking wasn’t my thing. I stunk at it. I had bombed. And it was embarrassing as anything I’d ever been a part of.
That day, when I got home, my mom noticed I was distraught. She asked me what was wrong and I explained to her how I had chocked in front of the entire student body and ruined James’ speech. I also declared the fact that I’d never get in front of an audience again. She responded with typical motherly compassion, but also reminded me of a student debate I had participated in just a few years previous. Surprisingly, I had forgotten that I had the same problem in that event as well. My nerves were so overcome that I barely made a sound in the entire debate.
Mom’s words, although I’m sure she hadn’t intended them to, had reconfirmed my previous promise from that day. Speaking in public was not my thing, and I wasn’t going to do it again.
Life’s Labels
In life, so often we hear about talents and skills we are born with versus the ones that develop over time. The debate is one that has been going on for ages. And certainly, it is a legitimate debate. Notwithstanding, I strongly feel that we as people all too often, after one or two failed experiences, immediately label ourselves as ‘good’ ,‘bad’, or whatever in a certain area. As a society, from day one we are stuck on metrics and titles. If you think about how much we do it, it’s crazy. Here are just a few of the hundreds of examples I could name:
- ‘Advance learner’
- ‘Behind His Grade Level’
- ‘21st percentile’
Sadly, because of all these titles, labels, and metrics; so many of us never develop our talents and skills simply because we get to a point where we identify ourselves as everyone else has. And just as the phrase ‘You are what you eat’ goes; the same rule applies to ‘You are what you think’.
The ‘Slow’ Group
For example, when I was in the first grade, I was in the remedial reading program. In other words, just about my entire peer group read better than I did in first grade. And because I was ‘behind’, I was forced to be in a separate group of ‘slow’ readers. It was embarrassing, as all the students knew who the class ‘dummies’ were. Because of this, I thought I was an idiot and can distinctly remember telling others that reading ‘just wasn’t my thing’. By middle school, I had caught back up with my peer group, but in many ways, the damage had already been done.
I recall these experiences because all of us have had similar ones. We’ve all failed. No doubt. And we’ve all, at certain times in our life, allowed our self-labels, as well as the labels of other, to dictate our actions and therefore our happiness.
Coming Full-Circle
I mention this because just last week, I found myself speaking at the same school where I had fallen flat on my face just 20 years previously. This time, I was keynoting a banquet held for the honor-roll students. And as I stood on stage, in front of those middle school children and their parents, I realized that many of the parents were the same people that had sat in the student body audience all those years ago and watched my public melt-down.
But this time it was different. I was utterly and completely relaxed. And as the students laughed and their parents smiled, I could only think back to that forgettable day as a high school freshman.
At 32 years of age, I’ve spoken to large groups of businesses, entrepreneurs, youth groups, and others literally all over the world. In fact, as I continue to put my swimming pool company on auto-pilot over these next few years, I will be able to focus on and pursue my passion, my gift, my genius—public speaking.
No doubt, my life has come full circle. And I’m sure in another post I will talk about how I went from making myself the promise that I’d never again get in front of an audience to the point where I am today of making it my life’s passion to help other’s reach their potential by speaking to as many audiences as possible.
Believe
But my main point here is that we mustn’t allow life’s failures, as well as its labels, to dictate our future. We mustn’t sell ourselves short from the greatness our creator has laid aside for us if but only take the necessary leap of faith and, even if it’s for but a moment, BELIEVE.
So believe in your greatness. Believe, and commit to follow, the promptings that have come to you in the past that you cast aside because of a lack of faith in yourself and your abilities. And most of all, do not allow small moments of failure to cast a shadow on the light you are capable of bringing to the world. Believe, believe, believe.
Marcus Sheridan
How about you? I’d love to hear from anyone regarding their thoughts on this topic of failure and labels, as well as our ability as people to overcome such obstacles. As always, don’t be shy, readers need to hear your thoughts as well. 
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Wauw! How great experience it must have been to make a speech at the same school years later after you know you’ve grown
Couldn’t help laughing about the “wanting” to vomit 
I was really good at reading in the first years of school, but I’m no good at reading anymore. I’m so slow. On the other hand, computers were “not my thing” at first, until something caught my attention. Now I’m really good with computers.
Public speaking is one of the things that scare people most – me included. I do try to push myself to do it when I get the chance. Dale Carnegie who wrote in “The Art of Public Speaking” that public speaking is a lot like learning to swim. Hey, maybe I should get a swimming pool to master the art of public speaking
Gita Street´s last [type] ..Amino.dk’s SEO konkurrence vundet
Funny you mention Dale Carnegie Gita. I adore that man, and have read that book more than once. Carnegie was so far ahead of his time. What an amazing man.
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
Marcus
This is indeed an inspiring story. I think to us, toastmasters, whose passion and mission is to make effective communication a worldwide reality, you rock..