Profanity, Blogging, and Communication Etiquette in 2010

by Marcus Sheridan on June 20, 2010

Many of you will not agree with what I’m about to say within this post. And to be honest, that’s OK. This is a subject that has been rolling around in the back of my head for quite some time now and it’s one that no one in the blogosphere has spent much time addressing. So despite the fact that some may be quite put off or offended by the following words, I feel it’s time I put my thoughts to pen regarding what I feel is a rather important subject—Profanity and Communication.

Profanity and bloggingThe subject to this post really started a few months ago when I attended a seminar of a very good speaker. The presenter was passionate, maintained his audience, and had obviously put quite a bit of thought in his message. But despite these positive traits, I was surprised to hear him use 4 or 5 curse words during his presentation.

Now I know you may be wondering what the words were. Let’s just put it this way, they were rather mild. Heck, they were words that one could easily find on the television in 2010. Notwithstanding, I was concerned for this speaker because I knew that some of the people in the audience wouldn’t necessarily share his passion for such vernacular.

Don’t be Fooled by Your Audience

Shortly after the presentation, I commenced talking to a gentleman who, at first site, would be viewed by many as a ‘good ole boy’—boots, cowboy hat, and the faded jeans to fit the bill. Upon asking him his thoughts on the seminar, he rather surprised me with the following statement. It went something like this:

‘I didn’t appreciate that man’s language’.

And that, my friends, was this good man’s lasting memory of what was in reality an excellent discourse. By simply sprinkling in less than a handful of ‘curse’ words, the speaker had completely lost at least one of the members of his audience. This, in my opinion, is a crying shame.

Principles Remain True

Some of you may think this is silly. Others might say, ‘Well it’s 2010, times have changed’. Frankly, I’d beg to differ. In fact, I submit the principles of great communication are as applicable today as they were 100 or even 1000 years ago.

Now before any of you start thinking that I’m here to judge someone for their use of the English language, allow me to say I am not. I’ve got too many personal issues to correct before I start judging others and the way they talk.  I don’t care if you cuss like a sailor. But the idea of cussing like a sailor around other people who don’t share such linguistic patterns is, may I say, disrespectful and potentially quite detrimental.

False Assumptions…To What End?

So many speakers and writers just assume everyone speaks and uses profanity the way they do, oblivious to the fact that there are thousands and thousands of people online this very second that are offended by hearing and reading curse words.

Along these same lines, I’ve come across many in the blogosphere that go out of their way to profane. It’s almost as if they can’t put a thought together without adding a 4-letter word for more supposed emphasis.

As a reader, I understand I have a choice to move to the next blogger. But such isn’t my point. My point here is WHY? Why must great speakers and writers use such language? Is it really that necessary? I dare say it’s not.

The Language of Two Legends

Bill Cosby is arguably one of the greatest comedians and actors of the late 20th century. I grew up watching The Cosby Show and was brought to ‘happy’ tears with Cosby’s hilarious stand-up routines discussing parenthood, family, etc. Cosby was loved by almost everyone of that generation and never once did he feel the need to interject profanity into his efforts to make others smile.

Jim Rohn, in my opinion, was the greatest self-improvement expert of the second half of the 20th century as well as the beginning of the 21st century until he passed away in 2009. During his lifetime, Rohn touched millions of people by speaking at thousands and thousands of seminars across the globe. And how many of those millions heard Rohn curse?

Zero. None. Nada. Zilch.

Get to the Point Marcus

I cite these two examples because it makes no sense to me why so many speakers and writers in 2010 feel like they can’t be effective without the use of curse words. Fact is, such a style does not add to one’s skills, and although it might make a few people laugh or giggle, there will also always be others who become offended and end up saying ‘enough is enough’.

Therefore, if we, as professionals in our field truly desire to touch as many people as possible, why would we risk our effectiveness over a few simple words? Is it really worth it? Can we do better? I say we can, which is why it is my hope that we can all reach our communication potential and touch as many lives as possible.

To close, may I simply refer to this famous quote, the author of which unknown:

“When a man uses profanity to support an argument, it indicates that either the man or the argument is weak – probably both”

Questions? Agree or Disagree? Feel free to leave your thoughts below.

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  • { 7 comments… read them below or add one }

    Eric Pratum June 20, 2010 at 8:19 am

    Agreed. Anything you say in a speech, write in a blog post, etc could draw a line between you and the audience. If you’re looking to do that so that you have a select group that is only like you, then you should swear, talk about religion, make racist comments, or whatever it happens to be that you stand for. If not however and you are just trying to get your message across to as many people as possible, it’s best to focus on the smallest group possible of things you would like to convey and then only talk to those points.
    .-= Eric Pratum´s last blog ..Blogs & Podcasts for Online Marketing Success =-.

    Reply

    Marcus Sheridan June 21, 2010 at 6:21 am

    Very, very well said Eric. I think you make a point here that I should have made– if you’re niche, and I mean just about ALL your niche, speaks the same vernacular– then it’s all good and free game. But if it’s not necessary for proper communication then it really has no place……..Thanks for stopping by man.

    Reply

    Tom Searcy June 21, 2010 at 6:48 am

    Marcus,
    It is tempting as a speaker to let the passion you feel and the feeling you get from the room as they respond to embolden you. Even comments from the audience can spur that on. I am personally guilty of this. Your blog is great and I appreciate the wake-up call for my own presentation style. Thanks!

    Reply

    Marcus Sheridan June 22, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Hey Tom, great to hear from you and thanks for stopping by. You are spot on in the fact that we can easily allow someone in the audience to dictate things we might otherwise not say. Keep up the great work btw over there on your sales blog. :-)

    Reply

    Paul July 15, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    I disagree on this one.

    Here’s why…

    Firstly, I’d have to say that it all depends on the situation and people have to use discretion appropriately. For example, if you’re at a children’s birthday party – you shouldn’t swear. Even if your own kids are exposed to vulgar language, it’s no excuse to expose other kids to it.

    Having said that, since you’ve given examples of two legends, I’ll offer examples of a few modern “legends” and how they use the occasional curse word effectively.

    #1 – Frank Kern – Modern world marketing genius. Frank is well known for swearing on stage. His events are attended by adults over 18 who are totally aware of what to expect from Frank.

    Frank uses humor and swearing as ways to provide entertainment while learning. It’s kind of like entertainment+education rolled into one. He is matching the natural language of his audience. I curse, my friends curse, everyone I know over the age of 18 curses, so why pretend?

    Frank’s message is to employ AUTHENTICITY in your communication with clients, so he is just being authentic. Meaning, he’s not adding any extra curse words you wouldn’t hear by being over at his house for dinner. But he is also not subtracting any.

    Frank also takes his shoes and socks off and goes on stage barefoot. Everything he does is masterfully planned before he goes on stage and cursing is part of his “personality”.

    #2 – Tony Robbins – Yes, Tony Robbins the personal development guru swears on stage. I didn’t even know this from his courses/books, but when I bought one of his DVD sets on relationships the DVD’s have swearing on them that was very surprising to me.

    The swearing is totally explained though. Robbins uses it as a way to interrupt people’s patterns. It is actually fully explained by the psychologist who did the DVD’s with him as to why it is so effective.

    Each swear word is carefully chosen for it’s effectiveness in the given situation.

    Besides these two examples though, I think there are other reasons where cursing makes sense. One of those reasons is matching your audience. By trying to be polite and not curse, when in “real life” you do curse, you’re not being authentic.

    I love watching Frank Kern videos, I love watching Gary Vaynerchuk and Tony Robbins at their best. I don’t mind that they curse, in fact I applaud them for having the guts to do it.

    I wouldn’t want my kids watching their videos but kids are not their audience.

    If you saw the impact a well placed “f-bomb” has on interrupting a persons pattern – such as Tony Robbins uses – you might look at it differently. It’s no different than when Tony Robbins dumped water on a lady to interrupt her pattern when she was going into “victim” mode.

    There is a difference between what these people do and what some people do, however, where they use profanity simply because they run out of adjectives. :)

    -Paul
    .-= Paul´s last blog ..Why I Reinstalled AdSense on My Blog in 2010 – Reason 5 =-.

    Reply

    Marcus Sheridan July 16, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Hi Paul, thanks for stopping by and adding a most excellent and well thought out comment. I agree and disagree with what you’re saying. Frank has his style and that’s his thing, and people know what to expect. Although I would not take his approach, it’s his brand.

    Tony Robbins is another story. Like you, I’m very familiar with Tony. I’ve seen all his stuff. And to be quite honest, I’ve not been impressed with his direction these past few years. In fact, when I wrote this article he was one of the people I was thinking most about. He used to communicate differently than he does now. And why has it changed?

    Although there could be many reasons, I frankly don’t feel he is nearly as inspired in thought as he used to be, especially when his mentor was the GREAT Jim Rohn, a man that spoke about this very same subject and very much shared the same beliefs I have on the matter. Rohn was arguably the best of the 20th century at what he did. He wasn’t about Jim Rohn and impressing others, he was about good-’ol self-improvement in its purest and simplest forms. I can guarantee you Rohn did not mentor Robbins in his use of 4-letters to ‘get a rise’ out of his audience.

    So although you’re example of Tony using language is very true, I do not believe for one second it makes him more effective, as his earlier years are clearly an indication of such.

    Regardless, awesome of you to stop by and add so much to the conversation Paul. Keep doing great things over there on your blog, love the design you’ve created.

    Reply

    Paul July 16, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Your post struck a chord with me because I was *just* talking to someone the other day about a lady that came to my Blog, subscribed, read my posts for a while and then unsubscribed leaving a nasty email saying that I should be ashamed of myself for using such profanity on my Blog and asking me what would happen if her 8 year old son read my Blog?

    I was a bit taken back by this, so I went to re-read my post again to see what curse word I used because I wasn’t aware that I swore in the article. I read it a few times again and again and couldn’t find anything, and then I found it…

    The word was… “crap”.

    Now, there are a few points to consider about this.

    (1) My website is clearly targeting adults over 18. In fact my terms and conditions clearly state that if you are not over 18, you should not be reading my site. So, first of all people who are worried about their kids on the Internet should install Netnanny or some other software that monitors and blocks all websites except the ones that the parents allow like Disney.com.

    It is not my responsibility to monitor what websites their children visit.

    (2) Secondly, I am not really use what universe this woman lives in but if she’s under the impression that her 8 or 9 year old son has not heard words *MUCH* worse than “crap”, she is living in “lala” land. Does she not realize that kids in grade 1 use much worse language than that on the playground?

    I am actually concerned for her kids because she seems disconnected from reality.

    Anyway, outside of that incident I have been getting really clear lately on the fact that I need to “tighten” my audience. Meaning, I need to polarize more and get more specific as to who I am targeting, because by trying to target everyone I am actually targeting no-one.

    This cursing issues is a prime example of this. On my Blog I rarely curse, and often soften the word I usually want to say with a much softer word. However, once in a while I will use words like “crap” or “piece of sh&#” etc. So in that sense I think I am not really 100% connecting with people who get offended by that – and at the same time I am not connecting with people who are OK with cursing when I soften the words.

    In effect I’m not really making either of them happy. Now, I personally LOVE Frank Kern and his style and Gary Vaynerchuk and I love that they swear on stage. I think it shows how genuine they are and they connect with me 100% since I talk like that with my friends every day.

    So I guess what I’m saying is this:

    Step 1 – Get REALLY clear who your audience is.

    Step 2 – Figure out whether cursing is something that is acceptable / preferable with them.

    Step 3 – Target your audience and speak to them in their language. Don’t be afraid to alienate all others who don’t fit your profile.

    I would argue that this speaker you went to see was clear in his target audience and the person he was targetting. I would then say that this gentleman you described talking to was NOT his target audience.

    I bet a certain % of the room left disappointed by the cursing, but I bet the rest of the people connected more deeply with the speaker.

    Tony Robbin’s doesn’t use curse words to get a “rise” out of his audience. He uses them as a very specific pattern interrupt technique that works today in 2010. Jim Rohn would be much less effective today as he was in his time because people today do swear, and all Robbins is doing is evolving with the times.

    It’s interesting though how this works. When you heard that Robbins uses curse words on stage, it turned you off from him. When I first saw him curse, I immediately connected with him more because he now seemed way more authentic than before when he never swore and to me seemed “fake”.

    Just my 2 cents.

    -Paul
    .-= Paul´s last blog ..Why I Reinstalled AdSense on My Blog in 2010 – Reason 5 =-.

    Reply

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