Why is there a photo of Ramen noodles on this page??? Read on 
Well here we are again folks, time for another edition of ‘Rumblings from the Lion’s Den’, which shows what I feel are the goofiest/funniest/most interesting Google searches that landed on TSL for the month of April.
In case you’re wondering why I have this segment each month, it’s because sometimes I like to let out my sarcastic side and take a break from all that serious talk on TSL …And speaking of serious talk, I believe my article this coming Tuesday is one of the most important and eye-opening that I’ve ever written, so please swing by that day (or Wednesday) because I’m literally hoping to spawn a powerful movement with its words, as it has been rolling around in my head for months.
But for now, let’s enjoy the weekend (or Monday if you’re reading this a little late) and share a laugh by taking a fun look at this past month’s best searches and then my corresponding thoughts with each…….
Most ‘Interesting’ TSL Google Searches from April 2011
Search: Am I too old to start an internet marketing business?
Answer: Well let me put it to you this way—Are you too old to breathe?? 
In fact, to prove it to you, my friend Marcia Hoeck talks about how her 86 year old mother learned to use an iPad here….VERY COOL!!
Search: Should I cut my yellow page advertising?
Answer: Well, it’s either that or use bundles of cash to kindle your next campfire.
Search: I find Timothy Ferris stressful
Answer: Really, you mean you’re finding that our friend Timmy the magical marketer sold you a bill of goods? Ahh yes, you’re the fifth person this week to come to me with this problem. My suggestion: Go find yourself a real expat coach in John Falchetto and he’ll take you to the promised land.
Search: Is blogging really a platform of free speech?
Answer: Hmmm, good question. Considering I was sued for 5 million dollars just for blogging, I’d say the answer is ‘no’. But at the same rate, there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch, and the price of positive change doesn’t come free either. So is it risky? Yeah, sure, but it’s also dang worth it if truth is on your side.
Search: Butt crush burger
Answer: I’m really trying to understand this one. Is this when your burger is too big and so you sit on it before you eat it??? Hmm, yeah, I’m baffled. Any help out there folks??
Search: Pizza hut calls their own staff ugly
Answer: Would that be considered a ‘company image problem’? Where are Danny and Troy of Bonsai Marketing when you need them???
Search: Why are companies spending big money on really stupid advertising?
Answer: Because some people….are….well…..Stupid?? Oh, and they’re not reading TSL…Yeah, that too!
Search: Hey man.. sometimes u gotta learn how to please your lady
Answer: Wise words my friend. Glad to know Google trusts us to teach you how.
Search: JK the Hustler
Answer: Well looky here, TSL is now ranking for the famous code name of JK Allen, blogging superstar of The Hustler’s Notebook. Sweet!!
Search: If I bounced a check at pizza hut will food lion still accept?
Answer: It’s called Ramen Noodles buddy.
Search: Book content blogging Marcus Sheridan
Answer: Now that’s what I’m talking about! Look for more on this subject in the coming months!
Search: How do people get away with fake testimonials?
Answer: Two points here. First, if we see it, we believe it. Second, all it takes is a trip to Fiverr and $5 and now you’ve got a fake testimonial. Sad but true.
Search: What is blogging community?
Answer: You’re looking at one buddy!! Want more? Go to Griddy’s or Gini’s too, they’re world class as well.
Search: Is Burger King flame broiled burger healthier than Mcdonalds burger?
Answer: That’s like saying, ‘Which is better, death by drubbing or death by the gauntlet??’
Search: Picture of a lion happy loving reaching out or roaring
Answer: Nice call Google! Just take a look at the top of the page, and there you go!!!
Your Turn for Fun:
OK folks, here’s the deal, open up your Google analytics and pull out some of the most original phrases from this last month, and then give us your take. There’s no limit on the number, but c’mon, give it a try.
See everyone Tuesday……
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
Those are too funny!! The weird things people search for.
One I got this week was “lion peopel tree movie”. No I didnt misspell any words there.
And what movie is that? Any ideas??
Hey Benny,
I’m not sure, but the people searching for this is probably looking for “Lion King Family Tree” If you search YouTube, you get lots of results about this from hard core Lion King fans
Jens
Jens P. Berget´s last [type] ..What I think about when I think about traveling
That would make sense. Thanks Jens!
Ahh Jens, look at you with all the answers man!
Too funny, Marcus!
I can’t believe I didn’t have anything weird this time. Only incorrect spellings of my name and people looking for my affiliate program. I don’t care how they spell my name as long as they find me, and I gotta love that folks want to be my affiiate! Hugs and love for all.
Can’t wait to read what others come up with.
Peggy
Peggy Baron´s last [type] ..Having Your Own Product Reviewed is Like Walking On a Bed of Nails
Hey Peggy, well maybe you’ll find some crazy stuff next time.
Either way I appreciate so much that you stopped by and got a smile from it. Hope you have a wonderful week!!
Marcus
Those are funny, Marcus. You should rank up for several of those now with this post.
Sadly, I looked through mine and there weren’t anything nearly this funny. I do get traffic every month from a post I wrote in September 2009 for the phrase, “you’ll shoot your eye out.” It’s always interesting to see our unintentional keyword rankings, isn’t it?
Brad Harmon @ Big Feet Marketing´s last [type] ..Who’s Online Talking About You
Yes Brad, unintentional keywords are actually way more fun in my opinion than the regular ones
. And because I’ve written about such a variety of topics (as you know from looking back at my stuff), the amount of organic searches I’m now giving is really, really heavy– but cool!!
Thanks again for all your awesome support Brad!!
Marcus
Thoughts of this post will keep me in stitches for weeks! LOL!
And boy am I glad I stopped by, Marcus. I immediately headed over to my Google Analytics hoping to find at least one silly search term to share here and guess what? Like a splash of cold water in my face, I realized I didn’t have “Site Search” set up for my profile. Well, I do now! TSL is a godsend.
Isn’t it utterly amazing how fate (karma, serendipity) intervenes sometimes?
Best post I’ve read all weekend — thanks!
Mel
Melanie Kissell @SoloMompreneur´s last [type] ..Struggle Is Optional – Work Is Required
Aww Melanie, you are always too kind to me, but thank you!!! I’m so glad you got a laugh out of this and I’m thrilled it inspired you with your site as well. That just gives me a huge smile to think about it!
Have a wonderful week Melanie!
Marcus
I always enjoy keyword searches. I have a bunch that are X-rated but over time I have covered all sorts of material including things that are a little bit saltier. I’ll share two that crop up frequently
why do most bloggers fail and the meaning of the heart wants what the heart wants.
Jack @ TheJackB´s last [type] ..I Wish That I Could Start Over
Hey Jack! I see you and I share a same passion.
For me, there is something really, really cool about the way ‘search’ on the internet works, and learning the way people think when they’re online. It’s pretty cool in my book.
So glad you stopped by Jack and hope you know how much I appreciate your support.
Marcus
Beautiful Marcus, Google really loves you!
I looked up my search terms over the past month, some of them are random like:
- air force discipline
- male lion (you keep popping up Marcus!)
- why do ezine views drop
- camera
- different things delight different people
But there are was one search term that made me stop and pause for a second:
- sorry for your grandmother death
It was almost like Google was sending its apologies to me for the recent passing of my Grandma. It felt weird seeing that, didn’t expect it at all.
Perhaps you could include some search terms that strike a chord with you Marcus, like this one did? Maybe have a section with random/weird search terms, then a section with random/powerful search terms
Stuart´s last [type] ..Unlock The Elevation- Interview With Bryan Thompson
Wow Stuart, that was a really, really cool story. Hmm, I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever had anything quite that serendipitous with regards to search phrases. Very neat.
Appreciate all your support my friend. Hope you’re having a wonderful week.
Cheers,
Marcus
Alright…in with the fun!
I love the Rumblings man. They are classic.
Butt Crush Burger I don’t even know what to say. Maybe you should rework some of your keywords Marcus! How in the world does Google manage to bring that up for you. And who in the world searched for that. Weirdos!
…learn how to please a lady When all else fails, seek counsel from the king of the jungle!
JK the Hustler – NICE! I got some of these too. Glad that I’m sharing the love!
bounced checks and Food Lion. Again, desperations brings people tot he king of the jungle.
What is Blogging Community. You mentioned Griddy – terrific! You mentioned Gini – great! I believe in and support your mention of both of those wonderful ladies. But I must say, this place is rockin’! So, the searcher(s) of this phrase, landed in the right place!
—
You where so many hats – Marketing Coach, Swimming pool extrodinare, great writer, Sales Lion and FOOD LION. You’re one talented feline. And, I didn’t know that you were battling Dr. Ruth for in the pleasure department (remember that old lady…I used to always see her on talk shows when I was younger)
Alright, here are a few of mine:
whats the high score for chucky cheese’s basketball hoops – I can’t recall what the highest score is, but I’m sure that I’m at the top of the list at all the Chucky Chesse’s in the Denver Metro Area, and many in Norther California as well. Not because of skill – because I might be the only person willing to drop $100 in tokens just to get to the top! (paying my 6 year old son to put my name on the board in stead of his own)!
what’s a hustler compared to a cheat. I love this one because of the one search I received, they stayed ont he site for 11 minutes. With that much time, I’m sure they left having a solid idea that there’s a BIG difference between the two…at least my version of the hustler; Hustler 2.o (I gotta do something with that one – the 2.0 has a nice right to it and separates the old, with the new…like the web and like with marketing (outbound to inbound model).
Alright buddy – thanks for yet another entertaining/fun post. I love these! Can’t wait to see what the community has to say. I’m sure folks like Bill Dorman will have me cracking up even more.
Jk Allen´s last [type] ..Personal Branding- Self Promotion and the Art of Marketing Yourself
Jk, hilarious analysis of a highly entertaining post! Love your Google Searches as well!
This is the first time I’ve seen one of these posts Marcus, WOW you rank for some crazy stuff, it’s awesome!
The Yellow Page Advertising, Butt Crush Burger (WTF!?) and the Burger King Flame Broiled are my personal favourites!
Nice to see some less serious posts in the blogosphere now and again!
Keep up the good work (and the jokes)
Have a good rest of the weekend guys!
Robert
Haha Robert! I’m glad you liked this. I enjoy writing with humor and sarcasm, but don’t get too many chances. That’s why once a month I do this and it always produces some funny results with a couple thousand phrases to choose from. Plus everyone gets to see another side of the silly Lion.
Have a great week man and come back again soon!
Marcus
It’s nice to let off a bit of steam! Haha. Yeah very entertaining!
Thanks for a great post, will be back here soon don’t worry about that!
Have a great week also.
Robert
Food Lion Ha! That’s awesome JK. Man do I appreciate your breakdown of this brother. Your kind words simply make me smile again and again man.
And thanks for sharing your search phrases as well. I think the day is coming where you’ll be first page on Google for ‘Hustler’, and you are going to single-handedly change the way the world (at least some) view the negative connotation. That’s simply amazing man.
Hope your week is treating you well my friend. I stopped by to see how your last article was doing last night and saw you up to about 130 comments, which is sick and crazy my brother!!
Marcus
This is one of my favorites Marcus!
Search: Expatfather
A: I think you were looking for John Falchetto
Search: Lovelly ass
A: I beg your pardon…
Search: Eat half diet
A: Not recommended but you do whatever bizarre diet you like
Search Carrying car & household to qatar from Dubai
A: That would be awfully exhausting
Search: hanky pancky doha
A: you can find hanky pancky anywhere you try with the right technique!
Search: One night stand with security
A: Eww, not for me but ok.
Search: women w/ lots of estrogen
A: that would be me, Gini, Shonali, Brankica, Griddy, Patricia. The list is endless.
Search Why do bizarre things happen to me
A: My life is like a Seinfeld as well so no clue there.
Rajka Milanovic Galbraith´s last [type] ..Don’t Buy Another Diet Book Before You Read This!
Rajka!!! Wow Lady, this was hilarious!! And I had no idea there was so much estrogen going on in the blogosphere!
You’ve certainly got some wild and crazy search phrases Rajka. Heck, I think you could have one of the series yourself!
Have a wonderful week and thanks so much for stopping by.
Marcus
Hi Marcus,
I especially love the one about “Am I too old to start an internet marketing business?” And your answer is perfect. Tomorrow I’m going to buy an iPad for my wife’s grandmother, she’s 79 years old and she has never owned a computer. It’s going to be a lot of fun teaching her the iPad, and she’s buying one before I am.
I have two interesting search phrases this month. The first one is “why should we promote you?” and “coca cola tastes bad after it’s opened for a while” At least one of them is related to marketing
Jens
Jens P. Berget´s last [type] ..What I think about when I think about traveling
Jens, that’s awesome about your wife’s grandmother— 79 and an Ipad—Sweet!! But you’re right, it’s so fun teaching folks, especially older ones, about the power of technology.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing my friend, you’re the best bud.
Marcus
Hi Marcus
Noodles, noodles?
I thought that the Sheridan clan were fed on raw meat. LOL
“… sometimes I like to let out my sarcastic side…”
Sarcastic? Why not humorous?
BTW – love the trailer…
“..my article this coming Tuesday is one of the most important and eye-opening that I’ve ever written…”
I’ve put a note in my diary for Tuesday.
Cheers Marcus
Keith Davis´s last [type] ..Online Video- Un Art… Une Technique
Haha Keith! You’ve got me all figured out bud
But yes, we are quite the carnivorous family and yes, it would certainly be humor. Believe it or not, I like to make people laugh 
Have a great week bud and glad to know you’ll be coming back!
Marcus
While I am still the predominant authority on how far hippos can shoot poop, I have also gained expertise in the following areas in April:
“adjectives for ass”
“can you prostitute yourself online?”
“hippo feces”
“how to sell yourself on the internet”
“whaleass” Really? Whale Ass? One word?
…So I am now the person to come to about internet prostitution, hippo feces and a few about masturbation too. I guess keywords and titles DO matter
And I got a few for “Marcus Sheridan”! I hope that search was unrelated to the other ones I just listed
Eugene´s last [type] ..43 Internet Stars Describe Their Average Day
Geez Eugene! What the heck have you been writing about on your blog??
Have a great week man.
Marcus
Ok, you said serious and spawn in the same post and you want something intelligent out of my mouth; well, here it is then: butt crush burger.
It’s always amazing and humorous what this turns up and I appreciate you sharing it w/ your comments.
Looking forward to your epic Tues post; I’ll make sure NOT to have all responses come to my e-mail…………just sayin’………….
Hope you had a good weekend buddy; see you next wk.
bill dorman´s last [type] ..Well- that was awkward…
‘Serious’ and ‘Spawn’ Bill? Hey man, it takes some skill to mix those two guys.
Glad you’re looking forward to the post. I know I sure as heck am
Have a great week, I’m sure we’ll bump into each other lots…..
Marcus
Marcus, all the cool kids make butt crush burgers and make fun of other people at Pizza Hut! Where have you been?!
Geez!
Bryan Thompson´s last [type] ..Airports and the Ultimate Power of Community
You’re right Bryan! LOL
Have a great week man, come back again soon.
Marcus
Hahaha. This is awesome! Except that at first I thought the picture of ramen noodles was of intestines or something. Weird.
Man, I don’t have too many good/funny keywords, but here are some:
“horrible lessons learned experience architecture”
“its my bday!!!”
“keeping kids out of a bookshelf”
“who is the stormtrooper who says these are not the droids your looking for”
“reasons people around 38 could pass away”
“little feet”
Not quite as good as yours… Maybe next month
Tristan´s last [type] ..Why and How All Bloggers Should Be Using Pinterest
Yo Tristan, good to hear from you my friend, I hope you’re doing well bud. Your ‘stormtrooper’ line was pretty cool
Thanks for coming by my friend for a laugh.
Marcus
LOL! this one is the most funny –
”
“Search: Hey man.. sometimes u gotta learn how to please your lady
Answer: Wise words my friend. Glad to know Google trusts us to teach you how.
sapir´s last [type] ..Does a dishonorable discharge show up on a background check
Ha! Me too Sapir
Have a great week and make sure to stop by again soon!
Marcus
thanks, you too! it is my pleasure
sapir´s last [type] ..Does a dishonorable discharge show up on a background check
What a great way to start the week Marcus!
Just checked my keywords but they are pretty focused and thus boring, which is a good thing actually
However, I found a couple of gems on my girlfriend’s analytics account. She has a beauty/lifestyle blog.
“home remedies for fat ass”
“how to stop dating badboys”
“vaginal odor fishy in the morning”
I think I’ll stop there
Have a great week,
Wim
PS: If I’m doing this right, you should now be able to see my face in the avatar, so no more blind dates!
Wim @ Sales Sells´s last [type] ..“You Are Too Expensive” – Eight Ways To Handle Price Objections
Ha haa! Great way to start my Monday morning! Butt Crush Burgers and lovable lions! Fantastic…
Some of mine aren’t so much funny as head scratching:
1. blackboard planning
2. where are the admins to stop me
??que??
Anyway, looking forward to tomorrow’s epic post!
Tisha | tMedia´s last [type] ..How to Tell if Blogging Just Isn’t Your Thing
In the spirit of your 7 Signs Other than Traffic that TRULY Indicate a Blog Article’s Success, does this represent a sign of a BLOG’s success?
Sign 1: You have so much content and so many backlinks that you regularly rank for bizarre and hilarious search terms completely unrelated to your content.
Great post! A nice humor injection for the day.
Adam Toporek´s last [type] ..One of My Guiding Principles
Yay! I love this post and you totally have me ROFL! So here is what we got in April to our site that was *ahem* let’s just say amusing.
‘picture of an audience’
Well I must have had a blog post somewhere in there that had this image and Im pretty sure its one of my ‘most read’. Maybe its really not the story and its just the high demand for pictures of audiences.
‘math’
Absolutely no clue but 3 people searched for this word and landed on our site.
‘cereal aisle’
So I mentioned the cereal aisle in one of my favorite posts about the paradox of choice. So again, the picture and alt text is getting me traffic. I will have to think about what I label my images as in the future.
‘current status of grid computing’
I really hope this person found the status because I am sure it was not on my site and I dont have the slightest idea where to point them to.
‘”poker”‘
We definately like poker at Zmags but doesnt mean we talk about it. No player tips here – sorry.
‘how a relationship can hold you back’
Wow! Good luck to the person who searched for this. I certainly hope they got some help and got out of the relationship holding them back.
Thanks Marcus for allowing us to chime in and share our April traffic-driving keywords.
Hehe! These are too funny! I like the picture of the noodles too, bizarely enough I’ve just ordered noodles for my dinner!
Harriet´s last [type] ..Mobile Phone Exchange
Marcus,
Love iT! You have some great stuff here. It is nice to step back and take a break with from the serious.
I like the way you slyly mixed in a few links to some other really great blogs.
I must say I will certainly be back tomorrow (or Wednesday) to see your really important post. Great way to whet my appetite!
Until then…
-S
Steve@Internet Lifestyle´s last [type] ..22 Quick Tasks that Increase Internet Income
{ 1 trackback }