SEO, Chiropractors, and the Idiotic Things Sales People Will Say

I was planning on writing on a very different topic today but I couldn’t help but to vent a little after the battle I just participated in with an ‘SEO’ company on the phone. This is basically how it all went down:

I received a call from a lady named ‘Sherry’ explaining to me how, to paraphrase her words, my website stunk in terms of its SEO and that she was calling to offer this incredible system that would save me a bunch of money by getting us ranked on the first page of Google for just about every phrase in the entire universe (OK, partial exaggeration there). After patiently listening to this kind lady roll through her pitch, I started to break down my company’s website, how we get more traffic than any other company in our industry, what I understood regarding SEO, and how I was very happy with the current CMS (content management system) and analytics system I was using.

After explaining to this lady a little about myself, the fun really begun, because she quickly flipped me to another guy we’ll call ‘Larry’. Larry proceeded to again pitch his company, their owner, and just how amazingly successful my business could be if we only shelled out the 10k to start on his system, which “has the cleanest SEO code in the world.” Again, I went on to explain to Larry how I had attempted to become my own SEO over these last 12 months. I also explained to him how we have a dominant long tail keyword strategy with our dogged approach to blogging and creating new content on our webpage. After hearing these words, Larry then made my blood pressure start to rise. This was the dialogue:

Larry: That’s great that you produce all this content Marcus but how much time does all this work take you?

Me: I guess I spend about 1-2 hours a day writing, studying, designing, etc.

Larry: Ok, so that means you spend about 10 hours a week, or 500 hours a year working on your SEO. With our system, you would spend almost no time working on SEO any longer. Wouldn’t you agree that your skills as a business owner would be better served doing other things?

Me: (starting to really think this guy is an idiot) I spend  my time mainly creating great content via blogs and vlogs(video blogs) for the consumer. This is not something your company could do for me, and therefore your ‘system’ would save me little, if any, time.

Larry: Actually, we have people that write as well. In fact, we have guys that worked for the Chicago Tribune and they are pros at what they do and it only costs $200 per article.

Me: Larry, I think it’s nice that you offer such a service but no ghost writer can produce the personality, feel, and quality of an actual business owner or dedicated employee. It’s just not the same. In fact, once you add up the initial set up fee you mentioned of 10k, and then spend $400 a week for content, the service has cost an arm and a leg.

Larry: Don’t take this the wrong way, but there is no way you can write like our writers. They are just too good at what they do. And because we offer our services to only select businesses, if one of your competitors signs up, you won’t be able to keep up with our system and our guys. There’s just no way. This is an amazing offer.

Me: (Blood now boiling but holding it together nicely) Uhhm, Larry, I’m sure you’ve got a great CMS and I’m sure your code is awesome, but this ain’t for me brother.

The reason why this phone call got me so fired up is because Larry and his stinking SEO company represent everything wrong with all of these ‘Web Tools and Technology’ companies that do their very best to over-promise as well as create dependency from their clients.

I compare these guys to chiropractors. Now before any of you have a cow so as to defend your chiropractor, please understand that I believe there are many great chiropractors out there, but in general almost all share a common trait, and that is they create a system of dependency with their clients. In other words, many chiropractors, because they want their clients to keep coming back and spending money, stress the need to return every 30 days or whatever to get another ‘adjustement’. This is all well and good, but are they focused on curing the problem or just temporarily alleviating it? My point is, if they are not trying to cure the problem then they are doing the customer a disservice.

I only use Chiropractors as an analogy here, but the principle rings true for any truly GREAT service. Take the CMS I use as an example, Hubspot. I’ve spoken quite a bit about this company in many of my articles because I think their method of doing business is awesome. Hubspot’s entire system is centered upon providing enough tools and education for their customers to learn to do web analytics, design, SEO, and outbound marketing ON THEIR OWN. Now granted, they do have a monthly fee for the use of their entire system, but it’s literally nothing like many of these companies, like Larry’s , that want business owners to stay in the dark ages and continue to be locked out of their business.

For example, when I first converted to Hubspot, I wasn’t quite sure how of how to make some changes on my new site. I contacted one of their ‘inbound marketing specialists’, Mark Grecko, and explained to him my dilemma, and asked him if someone at HS could make the change for me. He simply replied in this manner:

“Marcus, it’s time for tough love. Yes, I could get someone to make this change for you but I’m not going to do that. In fact, I’m going to tell you how to do it and then you’re going to do it. OK?”

At the time, I’m not sure if I appreciated just what type of impact such a statement would have on my life. What’s funny is that Hubspot does offer such additional services at a charge, but unlike Larry’s company, it’s not their goal to create a bunch of dependent, technically-mindless and broke business owners. Rather, their business model is based on empowerment through education. They want the average Joe to feel like he is in control of his web destiny. And on that particular day, Mark Greco took control of my destiny by forcing me to take the reins.

But getting back to my buddy Larry, allow me to point out a few specific truths that every business owner needs to know. (Warning, I’m feeling a little peppy upon writing this post, and therefore my wordage here may sound a little mean, but it’s all in good fun )

• If an SEO company tells you that you shouldn’t be writing your own content, they are idiots.

• If an SEO company tells you that you are not getting viewed by ‘80% of your customers because of your poor organic listings’, and you actually already get 90% of your traffic off of organic, then they are idiots.

• If an SEO company tells you they’ll only offer their service to you and not your competitors if you’ll sign up, they are liars, and therefore idiots.

• If an SEO company calls you and has to put the manager on the phone because the initial sales person, although kind, did not know half as much as you regarding SEO, then they are idiots.

• If an SEO company claims ‘they can do everything for you’ (inferring you have to do nothing), and you believe them, then you are both idiots.

Ok, so enough of my rant, I’m sure everyone gets it by this point. The reality is that business owners, all across the world, are being lead down an unfortunate road of false promises and expectations each and every day. Many SEO companies, like Hubspot, share an empowerment paradigm for their clients and should be applauded for such. Notwithstanding, there is an even larger percentage that sadly is not looking out for the best long term interests of their clients.

So to close, I’d like to share a Chinese proverb that we’ve all heard about 1000 times, but it’s the perfect summation of every thought that runs through my mind at this moment:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Questions? Comments? Come on, don’t be shy, watcha thinkin?

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